#make myself fully commit to the bit :T | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nanawritesit · 11 months ago

Text

Obey Me! Dateables: How They Would React to Walking in on You Changing (NSFW/ 18+/ MDNI) 🔞

A/N: This was requested by @morningsstaravatar on the ver. with the brothers 🥰 I’ll just let you know as a warning that this is waaaaayyyy spicier than the previous one, mostly bc my writing style and skills have developed immensely since then 😂 but I still hope you enjoy! :)

Characters: Diavolo, Babatos, Simeon, and Solomon

TW: some horny ass demons, making out, groping, mentions of partial nudity, suggestive remarks, alluding to sex, corruption motif with Simeon, use of “sir” and mentor/apprentice dynamic with Solomon, mild cursing

Diavolo:

It was late at night, and another one of Diavolo’s famous birthday celebration balls were winding down to an end. You yawned as you walked on over to the exit to follow the brothers out to the House of Lamentation.

“Hold on just a moment, everyone…” Diavolo said, rushing over to your group. “It’s so late already, why don’t you all just stay here for the night? We have plenty of guest rooms.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Well, we certainly can’t turn down an invitation from the Demon Lord, can we?”

You all nodded and laughed in agreement, allowing him to lead you upstairs and show you to each your rooms. You were one of the first ones given a bedroom, so you explored the room a bit before settling in. You began removing your gown/ suit, allowing it to slide down your body, when your door swung open.

“MC, I brought you some extra blankets for- oh my goodness!” Diavolo cut himself off as the door swung shut behind him, dropping the blankets on the floor in front of him. He immediately covered his eyes with his hands. “Ah, I apologize! That was quite rude of me to enter without permission!”

Your eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, and you immediately grabbed your clothes to cover yourself back up. “Lord Diavolo!”

“I should just go…” he nodded to himself, turning around to exit your room. However as he turned the door handle, he realized it was stuck, and that the door would not open.

“Well um… this is really awkward, but I’m pretty sure we’re both locked in this room for the night.” he told you, squinting his eyes in embarrassment.

You rushed over to him, clutching your clothes to your chest with one hand and jiggling the handle with the other. You sighed, then began laughing at how ridiculous the situation was.

“Oh, of course this would happen to me…” you chuckled, shaking your head. Once your laughter had died down, you looked back over to Diavolo, who was still facing the door as to avoid looking at you. You tapped on his shoulder, causing him to turn around. “It’s alright, everything’s already out in the open.”

“I really am truly sorry.” he exhaled, chuckling slightly as well. He ran a hand through his hair to steady himself before making eye contact with you once more. He took in the sight of you for a moment, looking as if he was thinking something over in his head. “Forgive me for saying so, but… you really are beautiful, MC.”

You blushed at his compliment and the feeling of his eyes on you once again. “Thank you, my Lord… hearing that from you makes my heart soar.”

He walked over to you, half nervous and half confident but fully committed to his plan of action, and took your face in his hands, examining your face as if it were a work of art. “I don’t think I can restrain myself anymore. May I kiss you?”

Your heart stopped. You had dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it was actually happening, your body wasn’t quite sure how to react. All you could manage was a clunky nod, but it was all the confirmation he needed. His lips were on yours in an instant, soft and delicate at first, but gaining intensity and passion as time went on.

You needed him closer, to feel more of him. You lost all reserve as his tongue slipped into your mouth and brought your arms up to his chest, running your hands along it to feel his strong muscles and the pounding of his heart. No longer being held to your chest, the rest of your outfit slid down your body once more, leaving you half naked in his arms.

“Can I…?” he huffed, pulling away quickly with his forehead still pressed against yours. His hand was hovering over your waist. You nodded frantically, desperately shoving your lips back against his to continue the kiss. His hands began roaming your body with your permission, until he leaned down to tap the back of your knee, signaling you to jump up in his arms. You did as instructed, and he carried you over to the bed, setting you down and crawling overtop of you. Only then did he break the kiss to look you in the eyes. “I’d like to make you mine tonight. Is that alright with you?”

Barbatos:

Barbatos was on yet another top secret mission to thwart an assassination attempt on Lord Diavolo. He had just taken care of the assailant, and was on his way back to the Demon Lord’s castle, when he sensed he was being followed. Not wanting to lead the culprit directly into the castle behind him, he decided to take a detour until he could lose them, ending up at the House of Lamentation.

Entering the hall and locking the door behind him, he crept up the stairs and walked into the only room with the light still on in the middle of the night: yours.

You were getting ready for bed, undressing in front of your bed, when he entered your room, startling you. “Barb-“ he cut you off by placing a hand over your mouth and lifting a finger to his lips, signaling for you to be quiet. He crept over to your window and glanced all around the outside of the building until he was sure he was safe.

“What a relief, perhaps it was just my paranoia gettting the best of me…” he sighed, gasping for air as if he had been holding his breath. He turned to face you, eyes widening as he took in the sight before him. “Oh, MC, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were….”

You giggled at his stuttering, relaxing slightly. “It’s okay, Barbatos. I’d just like a little warning next time you’re planning on coming over.” You walked back over to your bed to finish putting on your sleep clothes, seemingly unaffected by his presence.

“You mean… I’m invited to your room in the future?” he asked, a sudden mischievous grin curling up his lips.

You glanced back over at him, nodding cutely. “Anytime you want. Especially at this hour.”

His eyes raked over your indecent body, more intently this time, then he began taking slow strides over to you. “Are you suggesting the two of us begin an affair? Because, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Honestly Barbatos, I thought you would’ve caught on by now.” you rolled your eyes playfully, turning to face him completely. “Why do you think I’m always over at the castle asking for cooking advice, or borrowing books, or offering to help with your chores? It’s because I’m attracted to you.”

A pleased expression was evident on his face as he reached forward to place his hands on your hips, pulling you towards him. “I assumed I was only a side character in your romance story. However, I would be happy to service you as a lover…”

You smiled cheekily, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Nothing would pleasure me more.”

He brought a finger under your chin, tilting your head up towards him to examine your features more closely. His eyes then clamped back onto yours with a sudden intensity. “I hope you know what you’re getting into, MC. I don’t take any job lightly, let alone a relationship with you.”

“That’s a promise I’ll see that you keep.” you smirked, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

He grinned, then leaned down to kiss you, one hand cupping your face and the other snaking up your body to feel your exposed chest. You shifted in his hold as if to grant him permission, your own hands moving up into his hair to grip and tug at it lightly. He pulled back breathlessly to gaze into your eyes once more. “I’m looking forward to devouring you my dear. Is that your wish?”

Simeon:

You were staying over at Purgatory Hall for a sleepover with Simeon, Luke, and Solomon. Luke and Solomon had gone to bed long ago, no doubt fast asleep in their own bedrooms. You and Simeon were sitting on the couch drinking tea, lost in a spirited conversation with each other.

“Oh my, it’s quite late...” he exclaimed as he glanced at the clock. “We really should be getting to bed.”

“Yeah, I suppose we should.” you agreed, moving to get up. You reached for the tea set, to which Simeon gently held your wrist.

“It’s alright, I’ll clean up. You’re a guest here.” he smiled warmly.

You nodded appreciatively. “Goodnight Simeon.”

“Goodnight MC.”

You made your way back to your guest room, blushing slightly as you thought about how he had touched you, then began undressing to change into your pajamas.

“MC, you forgot your-“ you snapped around to see Simeon entering your bedroom, freezing in place as he realized what he had just walked in on.

You clutched your shirt to your bare chest, an amused smile making its way onto your face. “Well don’t stare dear, it’s rude.”

It was as if the sound of your voice snapped him out of a trance, and his face immediately flushed a deep shade of crimson. He squinted his eyes shut and turned towards the door. “I am so sorry. I really should have knocked, knowing you’d be getting ready for bed. I mean, not that I’m complaining, but… Oh goodness, I can’t believe I just said that! I…”

You chuckled, tossing your shirt to the side and tiptoeing over to him. The knowledge of him being pleased at the sight of you gave you all the confidence you needed to make your next move. You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, pressing your chest to his back and resting your head on his shoulder. You felt his breath hitch in his throat at the feeling of your bare form against his back, all of his muscles going rigid.

“You’re more than welcome to look, Simeon.” you practically purred into his ear.

He exhaled slowly as if gathering his self control. “I-I don’t think that would be a very angelic thing to do…”

You sniggered, tightening your grip on his waist and pressing yourself even further into him. “You mean you don’t want to?”

He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “Oh trust me, I do. I really do, but…”

“Simeon… why don’t you just give in?” you pleaded, turning him around in your arms. He showed no sign of reluctance and simply let himself be guided by your actions. “Open your eyes, dear.”

He did as you instructed, although slowly. As soon as he could register the sight of you topless in front of him, he lost all reserve.

“Oh wow…” he breathed, hands coming up to your waist almost instinctively. “MC, you’re breathtaking.”

You smiled at his affections. “Thank you, so are you…” You brought your arms up around his neck. “You can touch me, I don’t mind.”

He gulped, slowly bringing his shaking hands to your chest. Finally, they began roaming across it, groping slightly. He then brought his eyes back up to yours. “This might be a dense question to ask at this point, but… may I kiss you?”

You grinned, nodding up at him. Slowly, be titled his head to the side and leaned down, until his lips were just ghosting yours. You sensed his hesitation, and impatiently stood on your tiptoes to close the distance between the two of you. He held his breath in shock, but quickly relaxed, bringing a hand up to your cheek and tightening his grip on your chest. His tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring it until he was out of breath and pulling away from you reluctantly.

“MC… would you mind staying up with me a bit longer? I have a few more things I’d like to try…”

Solomon:

You were up in your bedroom practicing some spells after school. The cauldron was smoking hot, since you were having more trouble than you thought you would, and after a while you decided to shed your uniform jacket and shirt, leaving you in just your skirt/pants and tights/socks. Just as you began tying your hair back, your door clicked open, and in walked Solomon.

His eyes widened for maybe half a second, then a sly grin crept its way onto his face. He shut the door behind him and clicked the lock shut.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he asked, walking over to you. “Is my sexy little student practicing their seduction spells for me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” you scoffed, obvisouly not phased by his attempts to fluster you. “It’s for my hexing class. These potions just get so damn hot sometimes.”

“Well, we could always hop in the shower and cool off.” he suggested with a smirk, leaning against the table next to you.

You rolled your eyes. “Listen, either help me with this, or get out. My test is tomorrow.”

He glanced momentarily at your textbook, then swiftly grabbed a couple ingredients from your altar. He mixed them into your cauldron, causing a red cloud of smoke to slowly dissipate and reveal a calm, glittering potion.

You shook your head in amazement, fighting the relieved grin that threatened to appear on your expression. “You’re ridiculous…”

“No, I’m the best mentor you’ve ever had.” he grinned cockily. “Now, are you going to be a good little apprentice and express your thanks?”

You sighed, thinking to yourself for a moment. You realized then that the only way to put him in his place was to match his energy. You smirked to yourself, then walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You looked up at him with huge doe eyes, pouting your lip slightly.

“Thank you so much for helping me, sir. I’m so glad you walked in on me so clearly in need.” you beamed cheekily.

He was indeed caught off guard, cheeks heating up immensely at your suggestiveness. He slowly put his hands on your waist, shifting slightly in your hold. “Damn, are you sure this wasn’t a seduction potion?”

You shook your head, smile still wide on your face. “Nope. Although you walking in on me half naked like this isn’t exactly helping my case.”

He scoffed, slowly catching on to your plan to fluster him. “You are such a little tease, you know that?”

You shrugged, not breaking eye contact for a second. “What are you going to do about it, sir?”

He breathed out a shaky exhale, shaking his head at you. “Oh, have I got a few things in mind for you…” He then leaned down to capture your lips in a heated kiss, pressing his body flush against yours. You kissed each other roughly, hands roaming all over each others bodies until he caught your bottom lip between his teeth, biting it just enough to make you wince before releasing it and pulling away to meet your eyes. “Now, on your knees like a good little apprentice.”

220 notes · View notes

suneeater · 2 years ago

Text

solomon + general romantic hcs

✎a/n: im actually so obsessed w solomon i had to cut myself off writing these bc they became noticeably longer than the ones ive done for everyone else so far

✰warnings: slightly suggestive themes, minors DNI!

Solomon is the world’s biggest tease. He’s also incredibly observant and too smart for his own good, which means he knows your every weakness and loves to use them against you. It’s just so fun for him to see you get so pouty and beg him to quit, and he can’t help but make up arbitrary rules for his own satisfaction, such as swearing up and down the only way he will stop is with a kiss

He never gives you what you want right away; he’s always drawing things out for longer than they need to be, withholding touch or affection and offering only tiny little slivers in the meanwhile only to bask in how much you beg for him, upset he won’t give himself to you. He’s such a sadist, honestly

Teasing aside, Solomon is one hell of a reliable man. He has his mysterious ways which, as close as you become with him will always remain, and somehow always knows when you need him the most. He’s always managing to turn up at the second that he’s needed most knowing just what to do, thanks to his quick thinking. Even if he has prior commitments or has his hands full, you can always expect him to take some weight off your shoulders

As your only other fellow human in the devildom, Solomon worries about you a lot. You’re a quick learner and have more than enough pacts with some powerful demons to keep you safe, but he can’t help but think about your safety every moment he isn’t with you. Expect lots of gifts from him in the form of protective charms and items

Solomon is slightly similar to Lucifer in the role that he takes in your relationship; while he’ll always bend over backwards for you, he leans toward the assertive side. The way he sees it, it’s his job to keep you safe, and being around as long as he has he’s much more experienced than you, not to mention a powerful sorcerer. He’ll tell you what to do, but in the form of advice and genuine worry, while leading you by a firm but loving hold on your waist

Dates back in the human world are a must; catching Solomon up on current events and the past few decades is something the two of you enjoy thoroughly. There’s always something new to share, but it’s familiar enough that you still bond over your shared human experience. Back in the human world, you run about excitedly, pointing out all of your favorite things and rambling on about all that he’s missed, and while he doesn’t exactly retain every detail he’ll always the way you smiled so happily

When Solomon kisses you he takes his time. He’s a bit of a romantic, his surprisingly soft hand supporting your chin with tender care, keeping you close to him and guiding you just where he needs you, his other secured around your neck. There’s hardly any distance between you, and you have even less time to breathe before diving back in. Kissing Solomon is overwhelming in every sense of the word, all of your senses tingling with excitement and the desire for more. You can never be close enough to him to be fully satisfied and it’s frustrating, but it brings a spark to your relationship

He probably has really cold hands. Like, REALLY cold hands. He’s always using them to spook or startle you, sneaking up from behind and clasping his ice cold palms against your cheeks and watching you squeal. He has cold feet, too, and you have to beg him to wear socks after he touches you with them in the dead of night and it stirs you awake

If anyone wants you to wear their clothes, it’s Solomon. I mean, out of everyone he probably has the most normal wardrobe anyways! He’ll even buy some more average human clothes just to see you wear them, never deliberately asking but always trying to tempt you by dousing them in his scent and leaving them out in the open. He feels almost prideful when you’re lounging about in his t-shirts, eager for people to see you clad in his attire and know you’re his

You’re probably the only person that can convince him he is not the gourmet chef that he thinks he is, and that’s simply because he feels so warm and fuzzy inside when you spend late nights in the kitchen together, teaching him to cook your favorite dishes

Often, these late night cooking lessons end up being dance lessons. He takes his hands in yours and smiles softly for you, asking you without words for a dance to the distant song from your playlist. Solomon has two left feet though, and is constantly stepping on your toes and losing his balance. It’s one of the only times that you see the experienced sorcerer lose his composure, and surely a core memory of your relationship

find the same scenario for:

beelzebub | lucifer | mammon | simeon

#solomon x reader #solomon x mc #solomon x you #solomon hc #solomon obey me #solomon headcanons #jo #obey me!#obey me x reader #om!

380 notes · View notes

the-last-f2p · 10 months ago

Text

Yandere Kunikida domino effect

Hey guys :P This is silly but

TW: Obsessiveness, kidnapping

Kunikida is the type of yandere to plan every single aspect of your and his life together like if Dazai looks a bit too forward in his schedule he'll see creepy shit like me and Y/N get married TヘT And then after throwing Dazai in the mix, he would totally bully Kunikida for it. Dazai can't just be like call the police he ,despite me also mischacterising him sometimes as the skrunkly, is mentally fucked. So he just decides to pretend to be attachted to you. But of course it back fires and now he can't go two seconds without you So obviously Atsushi is going to get invovled since that's his mentor lol. And he's just trying his hardest to get Dazai to focus on anything that isn't you. I mean he was aware Dazai was doing it as a way to annoy Kunikida but now.. Atsushi's not so so sure. And then Akutagawa see's Dazai clinging onto you with the "If you leave me I will kill myself" mentality and immediatly thinks okay Dazai-san likes this person so if I study them for every waking he'll like me. Thus Akutagawa starts stalking you. Atsushi and Higuchi soon follow Akutagawa's footstep as well. Chuuya soon meets you as he thought Dazai was alone and came to fight him and he thinks it's love at first sight so now he's started the 'Make Y/N join the port mafia' movement. And Gin joins solely to see why Akutagawa is making a huge fuss about you. She see's after a couple of weeks and is now fully commited to the movement . Tachihara is confused to say the least but he won't even think about you for a little while. And you know what? Fuck it. Throw Verlaine in the mix he comes out of hiding and joins the MYJTPF (Make Y/N join the port mafia). Now we circle back to the ADA where fights between Kunikida and Dazai have broke out and now there are two sides. A) Dazai should back off Kunikida Kenji Katai Yosano B) Kunikida should back off Dazai Atsushi Kyouka Junichiro and Naomi Ranpo and Fukuzawa remain indifferent. Ranpo deduced that none of them have a healthly liking to you long ago anyway. Kyouka and Kenji are so confused. Why is everyone fighting over this? I guess I'll go on this side because my friends are agreeing with this dude. But after two hours hiding in the break room with you while Kunikida is ripping Dazai apart they're both like parent? Paarent.. And Kenji moves to team B because fun dad over strict. Even if Kyouka and Kenji are your biggest supporters you're kind of limited to what you can talk to them about because y'know child so you start to confide in Yosano and BOOM yandere. Don't ask how there's still things I'm figuring out. Most of the ADA -Katai and Ranpo are yandere. Mori is now sat there wondering where the hell did all my employees go. As soon as they figure out you're the root of the problem but not really but technically no victim blaming here guys. Mori decides to just kidnap you and use you as leverage for Dazai re-joining the mafia

Distingushied readers, this is the phenomanon that I shall call the Yandere Kunkida domino effect.

#does this count as a brainrot? Cause it's long enough to be a fic lol #yandere bsd #yandere #yandex #yande.re

31 notes · View notes

disco-elysium-via-polls · 6 months ago

Text

🎵 Whirling in Rags, 8 AM

3. "I'm just being up front with what I know."

TITUS HARDIE - "Right." Titus nods. "And that's mighty forthcoming of you, so let me extend you the same courtesy: she's connected. To you-know-what."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Organized crime -- down in Jamrock probably. He's not being *too* forthcoming -- this is not a surprise.

TITUS HARDIE - "So she *may* have access to semiautomatics. But that's a long fucking stretch of the imagination."

3. "There is a small -- 28% -- chance that shot came from *beyond* the roof."

TITUS HARDIE - "Yes, god damn it, I know what a 72% chance means. It means there's a 28% chance it *isn't* that." He thinks for a moment. "And 28% is no small chance either."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Just making sure we're on the same page." The lieutenant pretends to take a note. "It doesn't all fit. We're just sharing info -- candidly."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Sucess] - Titus doesn't reply -- probably a good sign.

4. (Show them the antique rifle.) "There are weapons like this just lying around in Martinaise."

TITUS HARDIE - "That looks antique -- a Belle-Magrave..." He takes the gun, inspects it and hands it back to you. "It's inoperable. Where'd you get it?"

"There's a cellar under the bookshop. It was hidden there -- with others just like it."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Twenty, maybe thirty rifles, Titus. Also broken -- but still, there were too many. And there must be other caches too."

EUGENE - "Goddamnit, we need to close that dump down for good."

+5 XP

TITUS HARDIE - He nods to it. "It's a god damn breechloader too -- find one that works and you got a military-grade weapon -- that shoots jacketed ammunition." He shakes his head.

LOGIC - He sees it -- this is coming together -- he *must*.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Easy: Success] - Time to really close the deal. Show them the bullet.

(Hold out the bullet) "This is the bullet that did it -- 4.46 mm. The Belle-Magrave uses the same calibre."

Let's not get dramatic.

GLEN - The blond man looks at the mushroomed deathbringer in the evidence bag and says:

"Yeah, the bitch is jacketed alright. 4 mm too..."

FAT ANGUS - "Whoaa...."

TITUS HARDIE - "Well, god damn..." His eyes follow the evidence bag back in your pocket. "It's not proof, but it's a possible murder weapon -- close to her. Too damn close."

+5 XP

He squints. "You *have* been thorough. I'll give you that."

5. "The local pawnshop sold my lost gun to a woman. Maybe it was her?" 6. "I didn't say I'd *prove* she had the murder weapon -- just that we need to find her." (Move on.)

Aside from... every other reason we have not to tell the Hardies we lost our gun, we didn't arrive here in Martinaise until after the murder was committed.

TITUS HARDIE - "All right." He nods. "Keep talking. I'm getting a bit *curious* about some things myself."

GLEN - "T, we're not seriously considering it, are we?!" He almost gets up from his seat. "Ruby wouldn't do this. Why would she do something like this?"

LOGIC - Phase III: Motive. The last component.

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - The big one. Get this and they'll give her to you. Remember, don't piss him off. That never works.

"It's not 'why did she kill him?' -- it's 'why did she organize the coverup?'."

"Klaasje told me some pretty *interesting* things about Ruby."

"Maybe it's all part of a leadership challenge? Against you, Titus."

"When Klaasje came downstairs -- Ruby appeared to *know* that something was wrong."

"Maybe she killed him because she thought it would curry favour with you?"

TITUS HARDIE - "And I suppose you have a theory on that?"

"She could have just been covering up for *herself*, Titus."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Think about it -- why go through all that effort? It was her idea, wasn't it? The hanging? You went along, but she suggested it."

SHANKY - The little man squints, eyes beady. "She had, like, a fully formed plan and shit. Right when she came back downstairs..."

EUGENE - "Really, Shanks? Klaasje wanted to talk to another girl, that's all. She was just the first one up there; *I* could've come up with that plan, if I'd been first."

LOGIC - Time for a logics demonstration.

"Eugene, let's assume you killed him…"

"Shanky, let's assume you killed him..."

"Titus, let's assume you killed him…"

EUGENE - He scoffs.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Think. You kill him. Get up there. Shoot him. Get down..."

"Would you prefer to go on trial with your friends -- as part of a lynch mob -- or alone, for committing murder?"

EUGENE - The man is silent.

SHANKY - "If she used us to cover her own shit up... well, that's a serious violation of the *Hardie code*, boss."

GLEN - "Which is why she didn't! She would never do that." The blond man waves his beer around. "Why aren't more of you defending her? This is fucking stupid, Titus."

TITUS HARDIE - "Glen." Titus looks grim. "I thought the same thing when she skipped town and left us in this shit."

LOGIC - Ooh! So he didn't rule her out completely? *And* she's skipped town. This is good.

2. "Klaasje told me some pretty *interesting* things about Ruby."

TITUS HARDIE - "Yeah? Like what?"

"She is part of the *homo-sexual underground*."

"Apparently she had a *thing* for Klaasje."

"Sex. She wanted sex from her."

"Let's not get into it, it's needless sensationalism."

TITUS HARDIE - "The *what* now?"

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - You're going to have to be way more blunt here.

"Apparently she had a *thing* for Klaasje."

TITUS HARDIE - "A thing? You mean..." He tilts his head to the side and falls silent.

FAT ANGUS - "Yeah but..." The fat man looks up from the table, oblivious. "They're both girls."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Girls like girls too, Angus," the lieutenant explains. "Sometimes. This is one of those times -- she liked Klaasje."

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harrier du bois #titus hardie #hardie boys

6 notes · View notes

daisyishedwig · 1 year ago

Text

Gave myself Hevans feels so here's a snippet from the fic I haven't touched in a month.

“I love astronomy,” Sam said, staring up at the planets hanging from the ceiling, “something about all that space makes my problems seem kinda small.”

Kurt rolled his eyes with a smile.

Sam pointed up at the red styrofoam ball directly above his head. “That one’s venus, planet of love.”

Kurt laughed. “That’s actually Mars, planet of war.”

Sam glanced back up and bit his lip. “Which one are we on?” he said with a teasing glint in his eye.

“Earth,” Kurt said, brows furrowing. “Which I need you to come back to for a minute. What changed your mind about the duet?”

“Honestly,” Sam took a deep breath, “watching you sing. You were so confident and incredible up there. It felt like you truly knew who you were. I guess, if I’m going to be in this club, I need that kind of confidence. And I need to not let others talk me down.”

“Commiting social suicide doesn’t make you confident,” Kurt said.

“Maybe not, but hopefully, spending some time with you will. No matter the consequences.” Sam’s pulse was racing, waiting for Kurt to reject him, not fully understanding why he did not want that to happen.

Kurt pursed his lips. “Maybe,” he said, “convince me a duet with you will be better than what I just did on that stage.”

Sam grinned. “Okay. Let’s start with choreography,” he said, pulling his guitar strap over his head. “The singing will be easy,” he said with a spin, “so I’ll just start playing.” He started strumming gently before looking back to Kurt. “Get behind me.”

Kurt stared at him in confusion. “What?”

“Get behind me.” He jerked his head to the side with a lifted eyebrow. Kurt took a breath and set his bag on one of the tables, moving to position himself behind Sam. “Now grab my hips.”

“Sam,” Kurt sqwauked.

“C’mon, I promise it’ll be good.” Kurt cautiously placed a hand on Sam’s waist. “Closer,” Sam instructed. Kurt huffed but did as he was told until his chest was almost to Sam’s back. “And start swaying.” Kurt pressed his free hand to his forehead with a nervous laugh but followed the movement of Sam’s hips. “Now here’s the cool part, give me your hand.” Kurt lifted it slowly and Sam took his hand gently. “Do you know how to play?”

Kurt shook his head with a soft, “No.”

“Oh it’s easy.” He guided Kurt’s hand into position on the fretboard. “Just put your finger there, yeah just like that.”

Kurt was making a concerted effort to keep his breathing steady. He wasn’t sure when the last time he’d been this close to another boy that hadn’t been visibly uncomfortable about it. Sam was so relaxed and calm, even as he touched Kurt.

Sam started strumming again, and he looked up to meet Kurt’s eye. He smiled at him, and their faces were so close. Electricity thrummed through Kurt as he stared in shock. Slowly, the tune they were playing started to click in his brain and he pulled away.

“This is a love song,” Kurt said, spinning away from him, pressing a hand to his chest.

“Yeah,” Sam said with shrug, “it’s one of my favorites.”

“We can’t sing a love song, Sam,” Kurt said with disbelief. “The other footballers will crucify you.”

“Because so many of the guys on the team will be watching us sing,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Maybe! Anyone could look in the choir room and see us. Anyone could walk by right now and see us, and you know what they’ll think.”

“That we’re two artists singing a song?” Sam said.

“That you’re gay, Sam! And people at this school are not that accepting, trust me, I’ve lived through hundreds of locker shoves and slushie facials and being thrown into trashcans. That’s the kind of talk Finn was trying to protect you from. That’s the whole reason I set you free to sing with someone else.”

“And why should I care? Isn’t being in Glee going to get me that kind of treatment anyway? Why does it matter what everyone else thinks about me?”

“You don’t understand,” Kurt pleaded, “yes, everyone else is bullied, but none of them experience the shit I do. They get annoyed and frustrated, but they can all walk away from the club if they want it to stop. But me? I can’t do that. Everyone at this school hates me because of who I am, not what I do. And if they think you’re like me? You will never be able to escape it.”

Sam’s face was drawn tight.

“I’m sorry, Sam. Thank you for trying, but I can’t let you do this. Just… sing with Quinn or something, it’ll be safer that way.”

#hevans #sam evans #kurt hummel #glee #daisyishedwig writes

3 notes · View notes

liliths-missing-pen · 2 years ago

Note

hihi, here for that match up in twst ;)

starting off with some things; i'm a sagittarius, moon sign is scorpio, my rising sign is cancer, ruling planet is jupiter. my mbti type is INFP-T, and my enneagram type is 6w5

with that being said, here's what i'm described by people and what i describe myself. i am described as patient, understanding, sensitive, funny, and open-minded. i also see myself stoic to my emotions at times because i don't like it when people see me when i'm in negative states like if i'm angry, sad, or frustrated and most of the time i succeed with it, another thing about me is that i'm a paranoid person, and clumsy- i also am a person who just laughs a lot

my likes; i like having one on one times with people i love especially my close friends or my s/o, i like baking, manga, fashion (some people also say i'm stylish), gardening at times, putting on makeup, roller coasters, swimming, partying at times, boba, and lastly, i like to know if i'm safe

now to what i hate; i don't like being yelled at, pushed around, not being given a chance, being left out, having my things taken without being asked

with my physical appearance; i have curly hair that's a shoulder length with bangs, and i'm about 5'1"-5'4" (changes every time 😭), i'm kinda spoon shaped-

my type; honestly, someone who isn't toxic, doesn't leave me out, is understanding and always listens to me. well respect my boundaries and decisions, makes effort into the relationship to make it all the way to the end, handles my overwhelming emotions, and takes risks with me

Lol hiii bestieeee I'm sorry this took so long. I started like two weeks ago-

I match you up with…

Kalim!

Honestly, I was really tempted to match you up with Floyd just because of all that shit you did with ai 😭 (yes of you’re wondering instead of doing homework after I ended that call I instead ran from responsibilities and decided to write your matchup instead-)

Since you have this really calm, chill vibe around from just knowing you I feel you and Floyd would complement one another. Just imagine: After a long day at NRC you go to the Monstro Lounge to see your darling Floyd after you make eye contact with him he immediately leaves the table he was serving a moment ago to go ahead and greet his Shrimpy.

Anyways! That’s not who I matched you up with! I just got too self-indulgent writing that- also a bit of laughing while thinking about it

Honestly knowing you for over 2 years (holy shit) it's been clear that you're level-headed, stoic, but at the same time one of the most fantastic friends I've had in a long time. I think you'd make an excellent match for Kalim since you are almost like the sun and the moon type of ship.

Kalim is easily excitable but you're much more calmer than he is so you'd be the time to reground him. He'd love to hug you all the time, also since you don't like feeling being left out (but tbh who does?) he'd be sure to make sure you'd always be near him! When he throws parties and wanders around greeting and talking with other people he'd either take you with him or he'd stay right next you since he's just so committed to you <3

Also risks? He's fully on that! Much to Jamil dismay. On note of Jamil he doesn't know if you're a blessing or a curse. He knows that he's always safe with you but at the same time, since you can be quite unpredictable and like to take tons of risks if he can't find Kalim he starts to get worried, get ready for tons of texts your way lol

Also whenever you get yourself into shit or you just simply need someone to listen to you after an incident he'll be there in under ten minutes flat. He'll want to be there for you and listen he just cares about you too much

Runners-Up

Jamil Viper

Floyd Leech

Vil Schoheit

#💞 | lilith’s matchups #😙 | moots #twst matchups #kalim al asim #kalim

4 notes · View notes

fleetingimg · 5 months ago

Note

Just after 2 am, you are fast asleep in your bed. Legs closed together, on your side, mouth agape with a little bit of drool running out onto your pillow. The only sound in your home is the soft hum of the refrigerator in the other room.

I notice your living room window was unlocked and left slightly open, but the issue is that you’re on the second floor. Looking around, I find a couple of garbage bins, so I drag them over towards the fire escape. The ladder is down, but I need the extra height to reach it. When I jump up and grab the first bar, one of the bins flies backwards knocking out some of its garbage and making a loud clanging noise. Thankfully nobody is out and about.

After I climb up, I peek inside and see nobody in the living room. Thinking for a few seconds, I commit to entering. There are so many things around, quite a few things for me to swipe… it’s my lucky day. Thankfully there is a backpack sitting in the corner so I could fill it with things and leave easily.

I wander around a bit, at least until I reach the bedroom. I closed the door behind me before realising you were in here. I was hoping nobody was home, but closing the door would offer me a hiding spot in case someone came home while I was snooping.

I silently step around the room, looking for more things to steal. Looking at you on the bed; hoping you don’t wake up and catch me. I can’t go back to jail…

From what I can see, you’re kinda hot. Someone I would definitely go after if we weren’t in your bedroom at 2 am as I’m stealing your stuff. I stop looking for valuables and decide to go after something even more valuable… your body.

I carefully slide off the duvet revealing you’re wearing a t shirt and panties. I can’t help but to stare at your perfect ass, wishing I could bite it. I pull out my phone and take a picture. The flash is on, which surprised me. My stomach sank and my heart pounds thinking surely that would wake you. Thankfully it didn’t. Phew!

My hand reaches for your cheeks, giving them a gentle rub. Instantly my dick goes from lightly hard to fully erect. Feeling your ass is great. It’s warm and soft, I can feel goosebumps on your skin. I give a light squeeze to both cheeks and you move a little. Fuck… wait no, you just turned. I wait for a moment to make sure you aren’t gonna wake before I continue to molest your sleeping body.

You’re laying on your stomach now, your ass fully up. Your panties slid deep in between the cheeks as you rolled over, giving me a glimpse of your entire ass. I squeeze again, spreading them a bit. I decided to be daring now and slowly slide your panties off. You don’t even budge as they come off. Once again I spread your ass cheeks, exposing the back of your sweet, sweet little cunt. I rub my fingers against your soft labia. Really wish I could be inside you at this point.

I continue to rub your pussy for a moment before I realised you’re starting to get really wet. Maybe my touching you is giving you a sexy dream and now you’re turned on? I slide my finger inside, feeling a bit of a grip and the ridges inside rubbing against my finger. My desire is heightening, and after a minute of gently fingering you I pull it out and suck off the juices from my finger. Now that I’ve had a taste, I can’t control myself. I must have more.

Realising you’re a bit of a deep sleeper at this point, giving that I’ve removed your panties, touched you, even fingering you, I decide to roll you over and slide your shirt up to your neck, revealing your breasts. They look absolutely fucking amazing. I grab them and rub and squeeze. Even licking around your areola and gently nibbling on the nipple. Now I’m surprised you haven’t woke up yet. I stop a minute and take a picture of your body, titties out, pussy out and wet, face asleep.

At first I really want to do even more, after all my cock really wants to feel you, but I decide it isn’t smart as surely you’ll wake up to that. Instead, I decide to just jerk off to you. I rub your body some more while I stroke my dick. After a few minutes, I shoot a fat load onto your body. Cum gets on your chin/lips, your right breast, and pillow.

Now that I’ve finished, I take one more picture of you covered in my cum and gather my things aka your things and I leave the same way I came in. Even though I couldn’t fuck you, I can masturbate to you every single night. At least now instead of just having pictures, I have the memory of what you felt like and tasted like which is so much better than jerking off to regular pics. Such a great little sleeping whore you are

woah bro wrote a whole fanfiction…

0 notes

homesliceadulting · 1 year ago

Text

So, I messed up. I wrote last week about how I was super lax, but still lost a little weight and so I was going to be working super hard this week to make some progress--that did not happen, obviously. I regained 1.8 lbs.

Without making excuses, there are a few reasons why. I ate out around 4-5 times this week--even though I made a meal that was supposed to last me through the week, some of the events of the week caused me to throw caution to the wind and indulge myself. On Wednesday, when I was planning to do a workout, I got a medical procedure done called an HSG. It's a procedure that requires a long needle to be inserted into my uterus to distribute dye that will allow my fertility specialist to get a 2D image of my lady parts. This was super painful--I underestimated how taxing it would be on me physically and my hubby and I had a fattening lunch to make me feel better. I had something called The Conversion--it's 3 cinnamon rolls converted into French toast. And that's only half of what I ate. I finished the rest for dinner. Also, because of how taxing the procedure was, I decided against working out that day. So I missed a workout. Also, I had free tickets to a Seattle Mariners game, so we ate out then. I actually ate out twice on that day since my job doesn't not provide free lunch on Fridays. On Thursday, our day to usually eat out for dinner, I had a big Five Guys burger & cajun fries after my husband and I received bad news about our genetic testing results. This week has been a little emotional when it comes to our fertility journey on top of being a week that was a little busy.

I don't know that I've really thought about emotional eating, but this week was full of it. I feel quite disappointed in myself for not doing what I was supposed to do while simultaneously trying to be kind for resorting to an old, comforting behavior during a difficult week. I have 4 weeks left to lose 9.4 lbs and I don't know if that's possible--I will have to be so dedicated and I can't guarantee that I can get back on the wagon, given how the past 2 weeks have gone. On the bright side, I did plan each day, unlike last week, so that's an improvement. I need to renew my commitment, but I feel sad and upset about my fertility journey so far. Even though the HSG and ultrasound I got this week were pretty positive, the genetic testing results were actually pretty scary--the whole reason I started on this journey was to prepare my body for children. It was my main motivator. And with the bad news about our genetic compatibility, I start to question all the hard work I have put in and the work I will continue to have to do to move forward with living a healthier lifestyle. While getting healthy has other benefits and rewards (feeling better, feeling lighter, having more endurance, experiencing less stress, seeing results, fitting into spaces better), with my north star of motivation (having kids) coming into question, I need to mentally adjust. I 100% believe that losing the weight is beneficial to my life. But I may need a new north star. And that's painful, especially since having kids is something me and my husband want and have been preparing for for a long time. We need to schedule a follow up with a genetic specialist to learn more about the risks, but with our limited knowledge, it's easy to assume that things won't be as easy as we'd hoped. It's an unanticipated monkey wrench and it's taking a bit of an emotional toll that has resulted in me questioning my own life goals and motivation. Well, this is something I should share with my therapist.

Overall, I'm not dead in the water. I can get back on the horse and I will--I may just need some time to really get back on it fully. I will do the best I can while still allowing space for me to process everything. Overall, I still feel good about my progress thus far and believe that if I can be super disciplined, I can achieve my goal of being under 300 lbs in 4 weeks. I've got this. I can do this. Hoping to share good news next week.

#weight goals #weight loss

0 notes

chewinglass · 1 year ago

Text

hey… forgot you existed for a bit. feels like the perfect activity for 3:11am me.

so weird that I’m pretty much just writing to my future self. Hello future lass, I love you. Tonight I really wanted to read that book that has that name, I really wanted to project myself on her, the one with my name, but the book isn’t what I hoped it would be. It makes me want to write, consuming mediocre art makes me want to create mediocre art. I hope the markets can accommodate for this.

Im still me. There’s still so much I want to do. I don’t know how to do it all. I think im going to become more strict with myself now, now is the time to finally develop self discipline. I think I need to break up with someone before that though. I could write so much about this person, he wants to marry me, I think he’s cool, a little too old for me, not super respectful of my bid to be alone but it’s not up to him. My emotions are all chaotic, I’ve gone through so many lesson arcs so far. Fantasizing about life with him, fantasizing about eclipsing him, fantasizing about being with someone who is the exact opposite of him, fantasizing about all the possible paths life with him could take, realizing that all of these are exaggerated fantasies and life will be much more strange and unpredictable. Reality is stranger than fiction. Right now I’m just trying to stay happy. Trying to get back to work, it’s hard. I feel so much time pressure. I’m waiting for manic inspiration to strike, just to get me out of this rut. It’s dumb.

I feel like I won’t let myself work on anything because everything I want to work on is “wrong” and I need to be prioritizing what needs to get done and what doesn’t better. Which is true, but it also means I’m doing no work right now. I hate it.

I’m the most powerful I’ve ever felt: so fully in control of my destiny, forgiven of my sins (I forgave myself), happy, not letting my life fall to pieces, building it up slowly.

I’m also the weakest: I miss my insane 16 year old self. I miss my insane 19 year old self. I miss the self I was in my fantasies.

I’ve known so many different selves, I want to be so many more selves. I feel incredibly pen holding right now, literally.

Thought about doing a spell tonight to unbind myself from my bad habits but as we know, magic can only do what it is allowed to do, and at a deep level I’m not sure if I’d allow it. My brain said just try tho, you can always reverse it. And my mind said “how do we know how to do this? How do we know the right way? Ask ChatGPT?” The fight hasn’t been settled yet. I’m so bad at committing to things. Ex; I would never do an exercise spell since I’d worry that I’d end up focusing too much on exercising and gym would become a 3hr a day thing (1hr prep, 1hr gym, 1hr sauna/shower). I need to learn how to go to the gym and be back in an hour. Or maybe just not go every day, or go in the morning if I can get on a sleep schedule I like? Idk. I also need to learn how to do this fully for myself, I might not see a difference in my body, I won’t get any external approval. Fuck it I should start going to the gym when I wake up.

I keep overcomplicating things. I want to learn how to eat an elephant. It’s Thursday I’m going to commit to a week of learning how to eat an elephant. I’m going to give myself a dr prescription:

- at least 1 hour a day of movement

- at least 1 hour a day of work

- at least one hour a day of cleaning up

- journal: what’s your fantasy morning routine? Try it out for two mornings.

journal: what are you excited to do during your hour of movement? Hour of work? Hour of cleaning? Imagine it before you do it.

It’s so important to imagine things before doing them when you create a todo list, especially if the task is intimidating.

One big open question for me is how do I balance exploration with execution? Will I ever finish the side project I wanted to finish? It could be really helpful for me, possibly others, and quick to finish. Why am I rationalizing it to myself?

I need to write a letter cancelling my travel probably. I need to get some of these constant ideas out of my head. Finish pg task. Make some designs. Update TestFlight. Ughhhhhhh I feel so bad. I keep wanting to run away. Maybe I need sleep. Yeah. It’s 3:39am. What else could I possibly do right now that wouldn’t be better done when I wake up? Plan my day tomorrow maybe?

ok I’m gonna drink a boujie relaxation drink called “I love my adrenals” and plan my day tomorrow. I definitely need to shower tomorrow lol.

I think I can actually get a lot done if I don’t travel or get a boyfriend. Dating takes so much time. Ok bye xoxoxoxo

#I just want to make the add tags button go away

0 notes

shoegazely · 2 years ago

Text

@godclaws :

he seems …. shy ? maybe that’s not quite the right word for it . he’s got this look on his face when he turns to her that reminds her of her brothers when she used to tag along on fishing trips : why the hell are you talkin right now ? you’re gonna scare the fish away , rosemary ! nevermind that . her momma would deem him reserved , which rosie thinks is a nice way of saying he seems pretty uninterested in talking . sorry , new friend ! that’s just too bad . you took the bait & now you’re reeling in your prize : one (1) up and coming country music singer !

he does , unfortunately , not give her the answer she was looking for . she imitates a game show buzzer , shaking her head in playful mock disappointment . ‘ not quite what i was lookin for , but i promise i won’t hold it against ya . —– wait , you didn’t remember ? ’ her eyes grow a little wide , surprised at the notion that someone could be unaware of a holiday ( especially valentine’s ! ) so late in the day . ‘ well jeez , i hope you ain’t got someone waitin for ya at home who’s wondering why you didnt give em flowers yet , ’ she teases , tone still lighthearted & chipper as she sips her drink heartily .

when her own question is volleyed back at her , rosie responds by wrinkling her nose in dramatic distaste . ‘ neither , actually . ’ turning over her shoulder to point in the direction of the stage where her guitar patiently waits for her return , she gestures in the general area . ‘ i’m actually playin tonight ! so th’ right answer to my question would’ve been that you heard my music and just had to find out who was singing . —– i actually play here every week , but usually just on mondays , wednesdays and fridays . so today’s special . ’ her dimpled grin returns easily at his introduction . maybe she misread him ! maybe he actually won’t mind her pestering him so much . ‘ knox , ’ she repeats : shouldn’t be hard to commit to memory , it’s not a name she’s heard very often . ‘ i’m rosie howell . pleasure t’ meet ya . ’

the first thing knox notices about her is her playfulness ; not just for imitating a game show buzzer, but also for the general way in which she speaks and moves -- her vibe, as banks would've called it. actually, she does seem pretty similar to banks, his old band's bassist. or former bassist. knox has no idea if he's still even in the band, and it doesn't really matter, does it? either way, maybe that's why knox finds himself loosening up even more, setting down his drink to fully look at her and take her in. the next thing he picks up on is her southern accent, something he doesn't hear a whole lot, and it screws with his head a little bit, because then he's left wondering if he has an accent. surely not? he's just from california, after all.

shaking loose those internal thoughts, knox grows surprised at her apparent shock at him not remembering valentine's day. it almost makes him laugh, but he's not quite drunk enough to be doing that yet. "i guess i fumbled the bag," he says with a smile, "considering i got the question wrong." a pause, as he thinks of how to respond to the slightly painful reminder that no one's home waiting for him, least of all silas. "nope," he says, popping the 'p.' "i should probably consider myself lucky. was never any good at picking out gifts anyway."

knox raises a brow in surprise, following her pointer finger to the stage, listening intently now that music's involved. an even wider smile appears on his face. somehow, out of all the people in this bar, he managed to sit by someone who's a musician. "well, i just got here," he grins, "but now that i know they play live music here, i'll have to come back." knox shakes his head lightly, sipping at his drink again. "that's awesome, though, that you're a musician. i dig that." he hums softly. "it's nice to meet you too! rosie the guitarist. and singer. i'll make sure to remember that! it's always nice to find a fellow musician in these parts. i used to be a drummer, and played some tambourine sometimes too. if you ever need a backup band or something, maybe i could play with you!" he grows excited at the mere prospect. it wouldn't be the same kind of music scene as before ; no drugs, just simply playing at small bars and venues. it would be nice, and calm, and ... well, his parents would hate the mere idea, but knox is already in. maybe he can find a gig somewhere, if rosie doesn't need a drummer. and she probably doesn't, but now that the thought's in his mind? it'll be nearly impossible to lose the idea now.

#i need to figure out a name for this thread omg #but !!! ugh i love rosie you have no idea she's so great

1 note · View note

xelsjournal · 2 years ago

Text

december 11 2022 2:12 pm

i think i got it backwards again. like for a while i was laying around like hmmm how to i attract change cuz i feel happy quite frequently and in general am content but im a bit bored. so i decided to switch up everything, my routine, my habits, my intentions, my affirmations, my mindset and see where that would take me. at the very least i can enjoy the voyage and all the newness. and for a while, i had a blast, lots changed, very interesting times, lots of ups and downs. and ive come back to a place of like stability and contentment, but also boredom again and like a looming concern of stagnancy. like im at a start of a long journey and im making my slow and steady progress but im like antsy. but i know that im at the beginning of something in one part of my life and the end of a cycle in another part of my life. i can feel the the dissonance in my joints and i feel restless. i want to rush to somewhere and get there fast, but i know thats not the right way and frankly i cant speed up the pacing of this voyage. i think i just revealed to myself that i need to exercise to relieve the sensation of wanting to expell energy but needing to redirect it. but thats not what this journal was about. anyways back to the topic of change and happiness, i asked myself again recently if i was happy and i said hmmm not really. im not sad, nothings wrongs but im just kinda going about my business, living life. it felt like i was waiting to be happy, like waiting for something to be happy about, for something outside of my to come along and set off a chain reaction that would bring me the ultimate wish fulfillment. so i went all grind mode, gotta-change-up-my-path-so-i-can-change-up-my-life, and i put my happiness somewhere else, somewhere ahead of me in some distant land. and i left and i lived. and i had a fucking blast lmaooo i put my joy in all those exhilarating moments, in those inconveniences, in that sensation of newness. i had been so anticipating it and finally making it happen and deciding to experience it fully and openly, and then having it all play out in such a fun way, so to have it come to what felt like such an abrupt stop and redirection was kind of jarring. i was still committed to enjoying myself until i could get back to somewhere else but then it continued. and continued. and continued some more. and the longer i spend here (realistically im being v dramstic cuz its mostly been these past few days), the more im wondering when tf im gonna go again lmao. cuz like the people im round rn arent making me happy or bringing me peace. if anything 80% of the time theyre feeding my own anger and discontentment. for a while i didnt notice it but since i noticed it like two days ago, every interaction is becoming an obstacle course as i dodge hooks into aggravating conversations or implicit requests for verbal drama dumps. and it has me thinking,,,, do i even wanna be here around these people!?! i think not! cuz why my day gotta be ruined just cuz urs is? but also at the same time im literally here and i cant escape that reality. so do i wait to be happy again? and i kinda subconsciously determined i would have to wait for another voyage to get my happiness back. but i came across a post a few minutes ago that said something about having “to find happiness in the little things all around you” and that had me pause bc damn yeah my life doesnt have to be bleak “until” anything. theres so many things i enjoy, my own company at the top of the list, theres just no reason my happiness needs to only look like one thing of be associated to one thing. i can find my happiness in this very moment. then it had me remembering the law of attraction and how this is kind of a good hack. if i want to be happy and living in excitement, i need to start doing so now. me being happy and exhilarated attracts. more and more opportunities for it to me, so it can open the doors to the joy im seeking by experiencing it in the now. this us a word salad and idc.

#word salad #journal #xelsrealm

0 notes

pedrito-friskito · 2 years ago

Note

Can I Have Santiago Garcia With 🦦 Pls

omg omg omg okay okay I had an instant idea with this so here we go!

honestly this is the first santi thing I’m actually POSTING (I have a wip that has been left unfinished for far too long) but here goes nothing!!

all he ever wanted - santiago garcia x fem!reader

warnings: none except fluff? canon-divergence as this ignores that santi went to australia after colombia, mentions of pregnancy, santi’s a big ol’ nerd and I love him

✨kay’s 300 follower celebration✨

“I’m just saying,” he calls from the bathroom, words slurred around his toothbrush, “I think it could be fun!”

“Fun,” you repeat, rolling your eyes, focus returning to the laptop in front of you. “This is not a trip to an amusement park, Santiago. This is a lifelong commitment.”

There’s a pause, the sound of water running and him spitting into the sink, and then the bathroom light flicks off and he steps out, left hand held up, ring finger sticking up like he’s flipping you off. The silver wedding band glints in the light coming from your nightstand. “How’s this for lifelong commitment, baby?” he quips, a shit-eating grin on his face.

You roll your eyes, shutting your laptop and setting it on the nightstand. As soon as you’ve done that, Santi lunges for you, pushing you back on the bed, sprawling beside you. He props his head on his elbow, peering down at you, his other hand roaming your body, rucking up the t-shirt of his you’ve claimed as your own, warm palm skimming across your stomach. “You’d look so pretty pregnant,” he murmurs, and his eyes are twinkling a little. “Besides, you’ve seen my baby pictures, mija. Do you have any idea how cute our kids are gonna be?”

“Oh, I’m fully aware,” you reply, letting your hand skim up his arm, over his bicep and across his pec. He’s bare-chested, and his dog tags dangle against his sternum. You hook your fingers in the chain, tugging it toward you, forcing him to lower his head until you can lean up and kiss his pretty mouth. “It’s just not something I could do without you, Santi.” Your hand closes around his tags, feeling the imprint of the metal pressing into your palm.

“Mija,” he starts, and his eyes drop shut, the hard line of his jaw ticking. “You know I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always come home to you.”

“I know that,” you reply, tugging on his tags again. He pushes his forehead into yours. “And I can handle it, when you’re gone. Mostly.”

His mouth quirks. “Mostly?”

You nod. “Good days and bad days. But that’s okay. I knew what I was getting into when I married you.” Palm brushing the side of his face, you tilt your chin up, kissing his forehead. “And I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I don’t know if I could handle it, having you away, knowing you’re missing everything that’s happening here and I’m here by myself.”

A low groan rumbles through his chest, and he slumps against you, resting his head on your collar. There’s a bit of adjusting, a bit of shuffling until one of his legs is slotted between yours, an arm slung around your waist, and you let one hand dive into his hair, brushing through his curls. It’s a nice change from the crew cut you’d grown so used to when you’d first met, and you can’t help but smile a bit at the salt and pepper that’s starting to seep into the dark, dark brown.

You’ve grown up together some, gone from lovestruck twenty-somethings to actual grown-ups. You have a house and a car, the whole deal you’d always dreamed of. And sure, there are days when you feel like something’s missing, like the patter of little feet on the floor would make it all complete, but then you realize that most of the time, Santi’s missing, his presence empty from your home, and you know you don’t want one without the other.

“I miss you every second that I’m gone,” he mumbles into your chest, turning his head so he can plant a kiss against your sternum. “I literally count down the minutes until I get to come home. I could retire, come back and teach or something. Ironhead’s got a good gig going here, I’m sure he could help me out.”

“You could,” you muse, and he lifts his head to meet your eyes, “but then you wouldn’t be you. You wouldn’t be Pope.”

He lets it go, for a long time. Life happens; he’s gone for a few months on another contract, you busy yourself with your own work. There’s the fateful trip to Colombia, which throws everyone through a loop. Tom’s funeral is a dark day, but before you know it, Santiago’s been home for almost four months, and shows no signs of leaving.

His contracts are all tied up and filed as completed, there’s no more half-filled suitcase sitting at the end of your bed, and it’s like everywhere you turn, he’s there. He’s cooking dinner or cleaning the kitchen or refinishing the bathroom. Catfish and Ironhead are both enlisted to help him build a deck in the backyard, and Benny fits himself in where he can.

You’re all but herding the boys out of your house the night they finish the deck, having spent the better part of the afternoon lounging on the completed space, keeping their drinks and bellies full. Santi is sprawled on the couch, head tilted back on the pillows, and he watches you as you head into the kitchen, swiping the few empty beer bottles off the counter.

“Fish and his lady are having another baby,” he calls, eyes tracking you as you drop the bottles in the recycle bin, move towards the sink to wash your hands.

“Oh?” you call back over the sound of the water. “Good for them.”

Suddenly, he’s behind you, arms slipping around your waist, hands reaching for your hips. “It got me thinking,” he murmurs, fitting his face into the curve of your neck, “about that conversation we had a while back.”

“Did it now?” you whisper as you turn of the water, tilting your head to the side as he kisses your pulse, beard scratchy at your neck.

“Mmhm. Cuz I’m home now, mija, and I’m not going anywhere. Not again. After Colombia, I…” He trails off, and you hear the hitch in his voice, the quick change from snarky to broken, so you twist in his grip, shaking the water from your hands and then letting them settle around his shoulders, one palm flattening against the side of his neck, fingers tracing the scar at his nape.

“What happened wasn’t your fault, Santi,” you tell him, trying your best to sound reassuring, leaning in to kiss his cheek, hugging him close.

He nods into your shoulder. “I’m just so happy to be home with you, baby,” he whispers, and your heart aches a little and the way he stutters out the words. “If it had been me, if it was you here, all alone, I couldn’t,” he shakes his head against you, “I can’t…”

“It wasn’t you, honey,” you whisper, tightening your grip on him, holding him closer. “It wasn’t you. You came home to me, like you always do.” He lifts his head from your shoulder, and your chest is tight at the wetness in his eyes, the shiny streaks down either side of his nose. “You’re home, and we, we’re gonna be a family, okay? You and me, we’re gonna make the cutest babies, right?” You move your hands to cup his cheeks, fingers swiping away the fresh tears that fall from his eyes.

His jaw goes slack, his words mumbled so low you almost can’t hear them. “I love you so much, baby.”

Six months later, and that little line appears.

You don’t really know how to tell him, at first. Since that night, you hadn’t stopped trying, and there had been a months where you were so sure, and then the stick didn’t have the answer you were looking for. Santi had been quietly disappointed when you’d added tampons to the grocery list, but it seemed like just knowing it was a possibility had made him brighter.

He got a job with Will, helping vets find good job placements for their skillsets, steering younger soldiers in the right direction, keeping them away from the hell the guys had all been through. It keeps him busy, keeps your bills steadily paid with enough leftover that the thought of all the costs that come with raising a baby don’t scare you nearly as much as they used to.

You contemplate how to make the announcement for a few days, and end up going the more nonchalant route, making it personal for the two of you. You’ll make some big silly post on Instagram later, but for now, you just want to see his reaction.

It’s Sunday morning, and Santi’s on the couch, flicking through TV channels. You had breakfast together earlier, fried eggs and bacon that had been exactly what you’d been craving. You’re nursing your second cup of tea and nibbling on grapes, flipping through the newspaper, and with a huff, Santi turns off the TV, pushes himself off the couch and walking over to the counter, standing across from you. You see your opportunity, bright and shiny.

“What do you wanna do today, baby?” he asks, pushing his hands wide on the countertop. “Go see a movie, maybe?”

“I don’t know,” you say, trying hard to keep your voice even. “Oh, there was something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Oh?” he mumbles, snagging a couple grapes and popping one into his mouth. “What’s up?”

“We’re gonna have a baby,” you say, the words spilling out suddenly in a giddy rush. You watch his face as it sinks in, his brows shooting up to his hairline. He jaw drops, the grape falling out and hitting the counter. His dark eyes go wide, already sparkling.

“Are you serious?”

Biting your lip, you nod, pulling the test out of your pocket and sliding it across the counter at him. “Serious.”

“We’re gonna have a baby?” he asks, his volume climbing as he races around the counter, scooping you into his arms and holding you tight. “Oh my god, we’re gonna have a baby.”

You just repeat the words back, giggling like mad as he lifts your feet right off the floor.

He sets you back down after a moment, absolutely glowing with excitement, and you can feel tears in your eyes as he throws in his arms and shouts, “We’re gonna have a baby!”

—————

santiago tags: @whosfrankie @iamskyereads @ancientbeing10 @woomen23 @plutoneu @allfoolsinluv @williamjzanders @winchestershiresauce @bluestuesday

I have a taglist! if you’d like to be tagged in future works, please fill out this form!💕

#kay’s 300 follower celebration #santiago garcia #oscar isaac #santiago garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia x you #triple frontier #all he ever wanted #my fics #santiago garcia fluff

381 notes · View notes

13eyond13 · 7 months ago

Note

Just finished rereading book 2:

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE BOOKS INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE + THE VAMPIRE LESTAT:

-I think Anne Rice became a better writer in the decade between book 1 and book 2 in terms of improving some of the things narratively that were fairly bothersome to me about the first book (the extreme passivity and lack of decisiveness of the narrator/protagonist Louis especially... although this was understandable from a characterization standpoint in many circumstances due to the conflictedness and guilt and confusion he had about his own nature, it definitely got dull and very frustrating to follow him at times in that he nearly always just seemed to be reluctantly in the passenger seat for everything going on around him, and also is so weak in his convictions and rarely ever sticks to his guns about any of the things that he believes or feels or says or wants whenever he is put into a tough situation). By switching in this book to Lestat as the main narrator it feels like the character at the helm finally has very clear goals and decisions and desires, and his enthusiasm about his vampirism is definitely a nice refreshing change of pace from book one

-HOWEVER I also must admit that the Lestat in book two feels almost an entirely different character than the Lestat in book one to me, and I'm a little bit conflicted about that? There was something about the casual shittiness and unimpressiveness and pettiness of the book one Lestat that I rather liked and I kind of missed when reading book two. In book two Lestat is now nothing but unendingly charming and generous and talented, and continuously hopelessly in love with positively everything and everyone, and shockingly patient and kind toward and forgiving of the characters who wrong and insult him. He goes from being a bit of a pathetic and snobby and unenlightened and angry and flawed and manipulative and sometimes secretly vulnerable and insecure vampire in book one, and from a character who doesn't really care about trying to be good or nice or moral or fair from a human perspective – which was actually kind of interesting and made sense for him to me – to this apparently incredibly powerful and scrupulous and empathetic and secretly extremely rich and well-connected one who had all this first-hand information about the ancient vampires that he was supposedly just keeping secret all throughout the IWTV book because... because reasons? It still doesn't really fully make sense to me. Because I guess he just randomly decided to obey those rules from Marius about not telling Louis or Claudia anything about their own kind, even though he also normally hates following such rules, and even though he also was terrified Louis would eventually leave him (so you'd think he might've decided at some point to give Louis at least SOME of the answers, since Louis wanted a wise vampire teacher for a companion more than anything?) Of course you can blame some of those discrepancies between the two versions of things on poor communication and unreliable narration from both Louis and Lestat. But STILL. It's just hard to picture the Lestat from book two being that tight-lipped with Louis and Claudia about his past and what he actually knows about other vampires for so long, and hard to picture him being that fine with doing a lot of the shadier things that he does in book one. And I actually found myself a bit bored by Lestat's constant new shinyness and impressiveness and moral commitment to only killing evildoers in book two at times, and sort of missed the shittier less noble and less overpowered version of him who was genuinely financially dependent on Louis and much less interested in being a "good person" or romanticizing mortals from book one. 😅 Plus I almost feel like the "only killing evildoers" thing is much more something that a guilt-ridden vampire like Louis would decide to do, not Lestat... and it makes me wonder why Louis never thought to try doing that in book one?

-that being said, Armand is quite a bit more interesting in book two than book one to me! I think he is fleshed out so much more in the second book. And the bits with him and his creepy coven are some of the best parts of book two to me. His chemistry with Lestat is fun and funny to read too, since unlike Louis Lestat just doesn't really take Armand that seriously or fall for his manipulations all that much lol. HOWEVER it bugged me a bit when the story was changed to make Armand seem way more villainous about everything that went down with Claudia as well? In book one Louis clearly says that Lestat showed up at the theater and demanded that Claudia be put to death for trying to kill him, but in book two Lestat says that he "didn't blame her for it" and "would probably have done something like that himself," and that he just went to the theater to ask Armand for healing blood, and then Armand forced him to publicly condemn Claudia by torturing and locking him up and throwing him off a tower and breaking all his bones instead of helping him and whatnot... like yes, Armand often sucks and is sneakily cruel, but I feel like he almost just was made to take the fall for Lestat by the author here so Lestat could seem more sympathetic and blameless or whatever in a convenient retcon way that annoys me somehow.

-I think it is fun that we get to know Lestat's mom so well in this book, though I was def cringing at some of the romantic shit they do together as vampires lol

-I also think the aesthetics of this book are some of the best in the series, though the first book is still my fave for that. Loved all the stuff with young Lestat and the castle and the wolves and the creepy cemeteries and actors and mad violinists and so on

-However, one of my main complaints about this book series is that the prose can be extremely purple and overly sensual to the point of exhausting and nauseating at times. It's like, if literally EVERYTHING is beautiful and fascinating and enchanting and sexy and seductive and constantly described as such then it almost starts to feel like nothing is, and you can grow very desensitized to it as the audience from sheer oversaturation after a while. And as much as I love a good ol' unrealistic romanticized fantasy romp, I found myself almost wishing that a character would actually be ugly or super plain for once, just to shake things up a bit haha. HOWEVER at the same time, if I have to read that kind of purple prose then I can definitely stomach it best when reading a story like this with these particular aesthetics and vibes and themes and characters. After all, I probably wouldn't like these incredibly flamboyant gothic vampire characters talking about everything in stark and minimalist and plain Ernest Hemingway prose better, either...

-My other main complaint I have about this book is it is WAY TOO LONG. My god it was like 550 pages. I started impatiently skimming a lot whenever it got to the Marius flashbacks and Akasha and Enkil lore stuff (like yes, that's useful information, but surely it could be told to the audience much more succinctly than having another long origin story narration flashback from Marius to endure directly after just sitting through Armand's).

-Favourite part of the entire thing was Lestat gushing about Louis and then reuniting with him at the end hahaha shut upppp but it was actually so heartwarming and cute

-other fave part was Lestat first waking up and then describing his unique perspective on the 1980s from his "I've been around since the 1700s" point of view, that shit was great

-I will try to read the third book Queen of the Damned as well sometime soon, which will be the second time for me, first time also being way back in my teens (I read all the way to book 6 of the VC back then before I lost interest I think, though I remember only really enjoying the first 3 or 4 of the books to any extent). Will post some more thoughts after that mayhaps?

I really want to hear your opinions of the Vampire Chronicles after you finish each book because I also read them at 16

Omg ok! I'm already 100 pages into book 2 so we'll see how it goes

#vampire chronicles spoilers #p #vmpcs

12 notes · View notes

20dollarlolita · 2 years ago

Text

Okay, I'm still a little bit nostalgic, so let's go into the first six coord pictures I found on my long trip through my 2011 facebook and tumblr.

This is Alice in the Ribbon Kingdom OP, which was my first main dress piece I bought. Those socks are actually gray, and those shoes are jelly peep-toe flats that were so small that my heels were hanging off the end. This is definitely the earliest coord pic I have because it was from before there was the giant mirror at the end of the hallway that everyone knows me for now.

I think everyone has a picture of their "i bought the dress and had no accessories at all" coord. This was mine. You can't see my hair but I took the neck brooch off the dress and bobby pinned it into my hair.

Coord rating: 4/10, nice dress and nothing else works, please step away from the cat litter box.

I definitely wore this outfit and called it lolita. The picture I posted of it is a dead link but my friend drew Equius in the same outfit I was wearing. That's a handmade skirt and then a t-shirt with Portal and the TARDIS on it, a headbow I strip-quilted with random fabric, and then some navy blue knee socks. I do not remember the conversation that happened to make this picture happen.

Coord rating 6/10: that's not how casual lolita works but A for effort.

This was my first Bodyline dress, and I'd gotten it that day, and hadn't pressed it. Those are some factory creases in there. That blouse is just a normal pointed collar blouse that I think I borrowed from my mom. Once again, we have me pinning the detachable bows into my hair. It took me years to get out of this habit. That dress was also the first lolita piece that I sold, and I wish I could get it again. I wanted a piano lolita dress from the first second I had a piano lolita dress.

Those white socks I later sewed lace to the top of, and they're still in my wardrobe and are frequently used in current coords.

I wore this to my lolita mentor's house because I was going to buy something from her. I don't remember if it was my Shirring Princess OP or if it was a blouse+petticoat+ear muff+socks combo that I later bought, but I know I was going to her house to buy something from her.

Coord rating: unable to rate because I fear the consequence of breaking eye contact with the face I'm making at the camera.

And I know that because this is the Shirring Princess, socks, blouse, petticoat, and earmuff combo that I bought from my mentor. I was so lucky to have someone who was experienced in the fashion available to help me when I was new to this. She also was selling a lot of her stuff because IIRC she was in a bit of a financial pinch. It wasn't really cold enough for earmuffs but I wanted to wear them anyway because I didn't own any hair accessories at all.

Those are my Bodyline tea parties that I've currently painted gold and made into the world's most dangerous quad skates. Those

mental health discussion cw for the rest of this post.

This picture is really weird to me because it's the last picture that I uploaded online before my bipolar diagnosis. I got diagnosed with bipolar following a quite spectacular almost-term of college with an increasingly bad major depressive episode. So I look really weird to myself here, because this was the start of like, days at a time where I wasn't able to be happy and couldn't understand why. I spent this entire winter break thinking that if I could just get back to school then things would feel better, which. They didn't. I know that I bring up my mental health any time that I start talking about early lolita me, but that's because the main reason I fully committed to owning and making lolita is really connected to this major depressive episode.

I remember wearing this exact coord again at school, but I wore the socks over white tights because I had self-harm marks on my legs that I didn't want people to see.

Coord rating 8/10: It's got most of the right things but also it's basically an entire outfit I bought from someone else.

So near the end of that term, I was determined to be a hazard to myself or others and was ejected from housing, which was also its own whole mess (I can tell the story of the head of housing being told to put a 20-year-old girl on suicide watch and her deciding to just leave said girl with a group of people she didn't know and tell them to watch her because head of housing decided to do something else, but we can save that for later).

Anyway, when you're super fucking depressed and your entire life has flipped upside-down and you've been massively cycling because you've got bipolar and someone's put you on SSRIs, sometimes you pick a thing to obsess over. And I picked lolita fashion. A nice lady at my church gave me huge piles of random scrap fabric, and I just started making things. I still have that blouse. It's basically a dickey with sleeves, because I ran out of fabric and decided it wouldn't matter if I only wore it under JSKs. That bodice is just elastic bobbin shirring done super close together, so it doesn't look very mainstream lolita at all. Looking at that skirt, I think I made that skirt out of the very first Scottish Games skirt that my mom made me when I was like 7.

This picture is really weird to me because I had completely forgotten about this dress ever existing until I found it earlier today. This is also one of the first selfies I can find that was in this mirror at the end of the hall. I still take pictures at this mirror.

Coord rating 6/10: not bad for a handmade coord but baby me wasn't really sure what a substyle was. If I'd tried to commit to styling it classic or something, it could probably work. Nice hat.

I've mentioned this before but this picture is a big deal for me because it was taken at my job/"job", which meant I was considered stable enough that I was allowed to drive my truck again. It wasn't really a job as much as my parents church taking pity on me and allowing me to "be the receptionist" on the church secretary's day off. This was the church where as a child I was banned from talking about oreos.

I found that blouse at a thrift store and it was too small but it had a rounded collar, so it was the only black blouse that I had for probably years. I made the skirt based off the Innocent World Juno skirt without me really having an understanding of why that skirt is shaped the way it is. That hair brooch is from the Dollar Tree and I was so excited when I found it because I thought it was the most lolita thing I'd ever seen at the Dollar Tree.

At this point in time, I was making maybe one thing from my sewing stash fabric about every three or four days. The petticoat I was wearing with this was a completely new petticoat that I made out of pink organza. I'd also done a skirt completely covered in rick rack which I do not have a picture of. I was basically making things because if I stopped making things then I'd feel worse than when I was making things.

I had also stopped wearing my BtSSB dress by this point because I had some disordered eating stuff going on and the fact that the zipper was a little bit tight somehow mathed out in my head to be about worth as a human.

Coord rating 7/10: technically checks all the boxes but CAN WE PLEASE BUY SOME LACE

While I was in college at that last term, I found this bodyline blouse at a record store (for some reason??), and the high waist means I could wear it with my weirdly short blouse I made. I owned three blouses at this point: this one, the too-small black one, and the long-sleeved pink one. That was my blouse collection for way too long, because I just never bought blouses. The slouch boots are an interesting addition to this. That headbow was the other Dollar Tree hair brooch that I got the same time I bought the black one.

If you've been following along you're going to notice how bad I used to be about not wearing any jewelry. I'm still pretty light on the jewelry but at least I wear it now.

I assume that the yellow thing there with the green crepe back satin ruffle is somehow related to the purple skirt with the ruffle made of the same green crepeback satin, but I have no idea what's going on with it.

I do remember taking this picture at like 2:30AM. I don't remember why I was taking this picture at like 2:30 AM. I think it's because I'd just cut my bangs and I wanted to do a whole look to show it off? I'm pretty sure this was right about when I started cutting my own bangs and just pretending it was fine however they came out. This is different from how I do it now because now I cut my own bangs and then panic when they are not fine however I tried to cut them.

Coord rating: 6/10 can we please match the shoes and headbow, but yeah I guess it checks all the boxes or something?

Overall analysis: Okay, so the first thing that past me needed (wardrobe terms, not in terms of psychiatric care) was to actually get way more hair accessories. All of these really show a lack of committment to my hair department. I think at the time, I really didn't know how to coordinate pink hair.

I did the same thing that I currently do, which I need to stop doing, which is buying big pieces like dresses and skirts and then just not having any blouses and headbows and socks. But this habit really, really held me back in my early lolita days.

The biggest thing for me in terms of handmade lolita was that I had a really good petticoat, and that helps make even my less good coordinates and pieces read like they're much better than they are.

That said, I was just dressing in a way that felt better than not getting dressed at all. This last picture wasn't even four months after the initial nadir of the major depressive episode, and I wasn't going to be determined to be able to go back to school for a few months after that. This was basically the only part of my life that I had complete control over and I decided that this was the thing I cared about.

Because of that, it took me a really long time to start focusing on some of the really detailed elements of lolita, making things balanced and pretty. I was basically just throwing anything that I could find together and call lolita.

Anyway, I was talking earlier about how you get good at drawing by doing a lot of sketches and not caring too hard if they're the best thing you'll ever draw? I think that's what I did in my first year of lolita. I just put things together. They weren't good. The vast majority of the pieces up there I either no longer have or no longer wear. But I figured out some stuff. Other stuff took way longer to figure out, but I did get some stuff figured out.

Anyway, to anyone who is feeling like they're not experienced in lolita, here's an entire year of me figuring stuff out. The 2013-2014 collection of lolita fashion that I have is also not great, so we can check that out if we want, too. I'm still figuring things out. I don't think I'll ever not be figuring things out.

Also here's a quick glimpse at how good cell phone cameras used to not be. (I've actually adjusted the white balance in all these, so the original pictures were worse)

#20dollarlolita #long post #handmade lolita #20dollarcoordposts

33 notes · View notes

clairecrive · 4 years ago

Note

Billy idea that I have no time to write myself loool: reader and Billy are friends with benefits. Reader is happy with the arrangement and knows Billy is sleeping with other women but she doesn't care. It's not serious with them. Billy however hadn't really thought about Reader sleeping with other people and he finds out. Maybe from friends (Frank, Curtis and Karen because hello AU) or maybe all of them are out at a bar and he sees her go home with someone else? But he gets suuuuper jealous about it and realises he wants more. I'll leave it up to you if Reader wants more too. Angsty jealous Billy though, am I right? Lmaooo (this is faulty-coding btw, hello 🖤)

"Commitment"

A/N: omg hi! I love your work so much I feel incredibly honoured that you chose me for this request! I hope you like it x This is also for this anon, I've combined the two requests since they were similar.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, slut-shaming, hurt-comfort, smut at the end

Word count: 3K +

Tags:@blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @tarkanelima-blog

@pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx @supernaturalcat7, @crazyclownchick (I don't know why it won't let me tag you)

To add yourself to my taglist, fill in this form.

NAVIGATION PAGE

"Hey, stranger." A familiar voice and then his familiar touch on your back before he sat in front of you.

"Hi, Billy."

"it's been a while," he mentioned casually while his eyes took you in.

It had been more than a while, actually. Last time you saw Billy had been over a week ago. Well, you hadn't really seen him, that was the problem.

Ever since you had started your "agreement" you'd drop by his office from time to time to surprise him. He had told you that he deeply enjoyed office sex while you had never had it. Needless to say, it soon became one of your favourite things.

And that was why that day, you were at Anvil. You hadn't told Billy that you were coming. It wouldn't have been a surprise then, would it? However, when you stepped in front of his door, just one touch away from opening it, you heard it.

Well, heard her actually.

It was Billy that ended up surprising you that day. You usually loved surprises but that one you would have gladly skipped.

Although it had taken you most of a week to come to this realisation, you realized that it was actually a good thing to happen. The thing you had with Billy wasn't labelled. It was fun but it wasn't serious. Despite the fact that you were friends and hang out with the same group, you had never committed to each other.

And you were honestly fine with it. You enjoyed your time with Billy, outside and under the sheets.

It had been months though and you hadn't wanted to acknowledge it but it wasn't enough anymore. Billy's role in your life was ambiguous. He was your friend sure, but one you'd have sex with. He wasn't your boyfriend but he was the one you'd spend the most of your time with, the one with whom you were intimate.

You wanted more, you realized. Enough with these half measures.

Billy will understand, you told yourself. He inwardly made it clear where he stands. Time to broaden your horizons.

And, as matter of fact, you had. It was true that the ocean is full of fish but you hadn't had a lot of luck with them before. Sure, Jake was nice. He was polite and nice. An overall good guy.

He was just lacking a... je ne sais quoi that made you unsure about it. But you were willing to give him a chance and so you kept going on dates with him.

Needless to say, you hadn't spoken to Billy since that impromptu visit to his office.

"Been busy," you offered him taking a sip of your beer. It was a lame excuse but you couldn't care less. Karen offered you some appetizers. You stared at them for a bit before shaking your head refusing them. Ignoring Karen's questioning look, you took another sip.

"Yeah, she's been busy alright." Frank's low chuckle came from the other end of the table.

"Meaning?" Billy asked, now curious about the implication seeing how your cheeks had suddenly turned red.

"She met someone," Karen chirped in, winking in your direction.

Mentally facepalming you, you swore them off. It wasn't the way you wanted Billy to find out. Not that you cared what he thought since he couldn't be bothered to be as transparent with you, but still. You hated being put on the spot.

"Has she now?" Billy's eyebrow arched and he gave you an amused look. But his jaw clenched and that gave him away.

"Not that it's any of your business. But yes, I have. His name's Jake, he's a nice guy." You explained briefly, ignoring the intensity of his stare.

"So you're that kind of person then." Leaning over the table, his voice took an edge he had never directed at you. "Ditching her friends as soon as she meets a guy?"

"You know that's not true." Narrowing your eyes at him you were almost offended by his institution if it wasn't for the fact that you knew that it was his bruised ego speaking.

"Tell that to my many unanswered calls on your phone."

"That's not on Jake," you scoffed taking a sip. His eyebrow arched while his hands gestured to you as if to say "do tell".

"Let's just say that I saw firsthand just how busy you keep yourself when I'm not around." You tried to keep the bitterness out of your voice, you really did. But without success.

Billy's lips pursed in thought. You had no doubt that he had an inkling about what you meant but he couldn't figure out to what exactly you were referring to.

"So is this what it is? You being petty because I've been with someone else?"

"That's me wanting more for myself and taking it."

"If you were that insatiable, y/n, you should have just told me."

"Stop making me sound like a slut, Billy. That is not what this is about."

"Isn't it? Because that's exactly what this looks like to me."

Pursing your lips, you refused to show him just how much he had hurt you. Nodding your head you decided that you'd had enough. You did not have to sit here and take his bullshit.

"You know, Billy. Slut-shaming isn't a good look on you." Waving to your friends, you quickly told them that you had to go. An emergency you said. But they knew better, their eyes fixed on Billy as he watched you walk out of the bar. Hands tightening around the bottle of beer he had ordered, he stood up once you disappeared amongst the crowd.

Without bothering to explain himself to the group, he simply followed you outside.

"Y/n." He called your name once he saw that you were already a bit far from the bar. In a couple of quick strides, Billy had gotten to you since you had slowed down.

"Go away, Billy." you didn't bother to look at him.

"Wait, wait," he said gently taking hold of your arm to get you to stop. And you did but stared at his hand on you until he dropped it and took a step back. "Look I'm sorry, I was an asshole." he apologised.

You only nodded to show him that you understood him but didn't offer any words to assure him that you forgave him.

"And I'm sorry you had to find out about Madani that way." He added hoping to make things right between you.

"Don't worry, it was actually an awakening for me." You added briefly looking at him. Tone harsh and unapologetic. You were still too mad at him to care about being considerate of your voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it made me realize that this," you gestured between the two of you, "was not working out for me."

"Oh really?" now the word had lost every tint of disbelief it had before. It was more like he was challenging you. Like he didn't quite believe you.

"Yes." you stood your ground pushing your shoulders back, "I figured out that I want more. And I know that I'm not going to get that from you."

"It was good while it lasted though," you called over your shoulders as you turned, ready to get the hell away from him. But the words he said though, made you halt on your feet.

"Who said you're not going to get that with me?"

"That would require feeling something for me other than lust, Billy." you snicked not fully turning around to face him, just your head.

"Who says I don't?"

"Madani, maybe?"

"She doesn't mean anything, y/n." He scoffed rolling his eyes.

"Of course you'd say something like this, Billy. Doesn't help though." As if him admitting to having meaningless sex with other women could help his case. Men. Fully done with this conversation you gave him one last look before turning away again.

"I know why you didn't eat those appetizers before." Again, after a few steps, his voice made you stop. This time, the implication of what he meant, sat heavily on your shoulders making you tense. Still, you didn't turn around.

That didn't deter him though.

"I know that you love them but they remind you of your grandfather. He used to make sure there would always be some of those at home whenever you went to visit him. And I know you haven't eaten them since-"

He stopped when your head whipping to him, eyes glaring.

He was right. You knew it, he knew it. But him strumentalising your beloved grandfather's death to get through to you? That was low, even for Billy.

Not only it called for you to acknowledge out loud that your grandfather wasn't there anymore but it also surprised you because you didn't think anyone would notice something so small.

"What are you saying, Billy?" Eyes glossy, like everything someone mentioned him, you tried your best to not let your voice waver.

"What I'm saying is that I care about you, y/n. I care enough to notice things. The tiniest details that you don't even know are there. Like that every time you're reading and something bad happens, you press your hand on your chest over your heart, as if you wanted to stop the pain from coming or something. Or that you always cook whenever you miss your family even if you never say it out loud. Or-"

"I get it Billy." you raised a hand to stop him. "You're observant. I knew that. That's basically what you do for a living. Not counting that you're a fucking sniper."

"Maybe," he conceded slowly taking a step in your direction, "I notice things, that's true. That doesn't mean that I store them in my mind, though."

"I care about you, y/n. A great deal. Enough to notice all the little things that make you you and enough to memorize them."

"I don't know if I can believe you, Billy. If you cared you wouldn't be going around sleeping with other women. And I know-" you added when you saw his mouth open to protest- " I know that technically we weren't together but still Billy. A technicality is not going to earn you my trust." Shrugging your shoulders you opted for being honest with him. You had never lied to him and you certainly weren't going to start now. Billy had never lied to you either, not that you were aware. And even if this thought should have reassured you, you were still hesitant about believing him.

"Then give me a chance to do so. Let me prove to you just how much I care about you and how little I care about everything else." He insisted, taking another step and then another until he was in front of you. Hands on your jaw, he delicately craned your neck so that your eyes could meet.

The height difference had always been a reason for jokes among you. It was no secret that Billy had a slight size kink, at least not to you, and so more often than not he'd use that.

Thumb slowly caressing your jaw, his eyes flickered between yours. They were full of hope, of promises but there was also a lot of vulnerability. Billy was not the type to be so forthcoming about his feelings. The fact that he had been with you, on a side street nonetheless, was a demonstration on its own.

Sighing, you knew you needed to decide. Yes, hearing Billy having sex with another woman had hurt you but you were not together. While that didn't make it hurt any less, it made the situation slightly less grave. He hadn't cheated on you, not really. You hadn't told him you wanted more. Hell, before that you didn't even know that you wanted more.

And now that you knew, now that he knew as well, here he was promising it to you. He wanted to give you exactly what you wanted. So could you really say no to him?

Of course not.

"Alright."

"Yeah?" a big smile grew on his face, his eyes twinkling in joy.

"Yeah, I'm going to give you a chance. Only one, Billy. So you better not mess this up." Poking his chest with a finger you warned him that this time around, things were going to be different.

"You're not going to regret that, babe." His eyes held a solemn promise. Just briefly though because soon, they were back to their usual mischief. Billy leaned to you, his lips meeting yours in a small kiss.

At first.

He kissed you soundly, his mouth perfectly on yours, building his tempo slowly. Then, you felt his tongue on your lower lip and you knew that things were about to escalate quickly.

Not that you minded of course, but it was not appropriate to do what you had in mind in the middle of the street.

"Billy," you moaned slightly leaning back to warn him that you couldn't get too carried away.

"Call that Jim guy," his mouth peppered small kisses along your jaw, "tell him that it's over. That he never stood a chance," he moved down on your neck.

"Yes."

"Let's go home so that I can show you how much more I can give you."His mouth had trailed back up and stopped so that it was hovering over your ear. His voice was low and breathy and husky and fuck it sent a wave of pleasure right in between your legs.

------

No sooner had you stepped over your threshold than Billy's hands were on you. The door barely closed, he pushed you against it. His hands cradled your face, effectively keeping you holding you in place while his mouth ravished you.

You gladly let him do as he pleased. Mouth opening to welcome his tongue while your hands gripped his jacket to keep you steady.

"Billy," you whimpered his name as his lips left yours. You tried to follow them by getting on your tiptoes but he didn't let you. Chuckling, he gave you another small kiss.

"Yes. Remember that it's me that it's making you feel this good. Me. Not Jim or whatever his name is, not anyone else. Me." He growled on your lips while one of his hands gripped the hair at the nape of your neck making you gasp.

Staring at his glowing dark pits you couldn't do anything other than nodding feverishly. You were at his mercy. Completely. And Billy knew that and it did nothing but please him to no end.

You'd always enjoyed whenever Billy was rough with you but him being jealous and kinda possessive too? Game changer.

Smirking at your reaction, his hands moved lower on your body until they hatched behind your knees pulling you up. Biting your lower lip, he swallowed your whimper for the friction once you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Billy didn't waste any more time, in quick long strides he was in your bedroom and threw you on the bed. You'd almost giggled when you bounced on it if it wasn't for the savage look in Billy's eyes.

Fuck, he looked so sexy. A sin.

For a moment, he just stared at you laid there waiting for him. A hand quickly wiped his face before he unbuckled his pants. Now it was your turn to stare at him. More like ogle but you knew he didn't mind.

Shedding his pants, he crawled over you until his face levelled yours.

"I'm going to give you exactly what you want. And then some more." He promised, nipping your earlobe. "You're never going to feel the need to look for other guys."

"There's no one else I'd rather be with, Billy."

Your hands trailed over his still clothed back before tangling his always perfectly styled hair. "Only you." You whispered in his ear.

If it wasn't for your hand on his back, you would have missed him tensing. "Say it again," he demanded, his head still in the crook of your neck.

"You're the only one I want, Billy." You repeated knowing fully well how he struggled with accepting love and affection. This meant to him just as much as it did to you. He was giving you the promise of commitment but so were you. And despite the fact that you had already been loyal to him, you knew how important it was for him to hear the words.

"There's no one else for me either, y/n. Never was, never will be." He raised his head to say this. It was a confirmation, yes, but it also felt so much more coming from him.

He had been telling you how much he cared about you since you left the bar but somehow, him saying it again now held more meaning.

"You promise?"

You felt childish and it was probably pathetic of you to ask him again. But this was you being vulnerable, letting him know that you needed him. And you trusted Billy.

"You're mine." He said instead. One of his hands coming to cradle the back of your head while the other closed around your right breast.

"And I'm yours."

And here it was, the promise, the reassurance you needed. His lips met yours in a bruising kiss. It was wet and more teeth and tongue than anything but it was passionate. You were claiming each other.

Not separating your lips, he used his hands to get rid of your clothes. While he unbuckled your pants, you took his shirt off. Him doing the same with yours while you pushed his brief down on his legs.

Once you were completely naked, Billy crawled back over you. His hands resting at the sides of your head. He was everywhere. You could feel him between your legs, your arms wrapped around his back, your vision field occupied by his beautiful face.

He was everywhere, he was everything.

"And now, I'm going to leave no room for doubt in your mind anymore." He whispered on your lips, his cock rubbing over your slit teasing you about what was to come.

You had asked him for a commitment and fuck if he didn't commit to it. All night long.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo x you #billy russo x y/n #billy russo imagines #billy russo fic #billy russo one shot #billy russo angst #billy russo fluff #billy russo smut #the punisher #punisher

509 notes · View notes